Chapter 12: What a Parent Can Do

If she mentions dying, concentrate on the circumstances surrounding the moment of death. Ask questions, like "How did you die?" "Who was with you when you died?" "What happened just before you died?"

Use open questions, too, like "What happened next?" "How did you feel?" "What were you thinking?" Get as much information as you can, so you can discern what unfinished business might remain from the moment of death. Proceed gently, and in an unexcited, matter-of-fact tone of voice. If she resists this line of questioning, don't push.

After she's told you as much as she can about the moment of death, ask her, "Right after you died, then what happened?" You might be rewarded with a full description of her journey through the after-life bardos and heaven. Or your child may simply say, "And then I came to you!" By tracing this transition from past life death to rebirth, she may understand for the first time that the past life is over, that she is now in a new lifetime. This could be just the understanding she needs to help her let go of the past and ground herself in present reality. This realization alone may neutralize the effects of an incomplete death.